I'm bad at titles...

Ah! I haven't posted in like a week! or something like that, I don't really know how long it's been. It feels like a week. Gosh, I hope it hasn't been more than a week...

I can't understand how people get themselves to blog every day. I like consistency and all, but unless someone forces me to write or be productive, it is hard for me to be. I enjoy writing. I enjoy being productive. It's just this block I have in place, where I cannot allow myself to only work. Sometimes I go days or weeks, and I am productive the entire time. Those are usually the best days I have.

But I always suddenly hit this moment. Usually it's at night.  And when I say 'suddenly', it's not just so I can add  a fun word. It is always sudden. One second, I'm happy as can be, I love life, I love my girlfriend, I love my family, school, whatever, everything.
I realize, nothing really matters. All my productivity and work really amounts to nothing. In the end, everybody dies. I always come to the conclusion that if there isn't a God, everything is meaningless. But if there is a God, the only things that really matter are people. Because they are all we keep with us after we die, if we keep anything at all.
So, after a couple stagnant days of working through how meaningless life feels, I want to read. I want to hang out with people and chill out and enjoy my life, since it is going to be pretty short anyways!
I don't think there is anything wrong with that. But that period where I don't do anything usually lasts a while, and I am not happy during it.

I hope I get out of these endless cycles. It's a funny thought, that one day there might not be a "tomorrow" for me. I think that's the only way to break out; to comprehend one's own mortality. Or, maybe immortality. I wonder.

Elusive Writing...

Oh writing, you are so elusive. Every time I think of you, I do something else instead. Maybe this is going to turn into an "every other day" blog, instead of a daily blog. Actually, then it would turn into twice a week, and so on and so forth...

Luckily, I don't have any readers. Actually, maybe that's unlucky, since readers might convince me to write more.
Sorry if you're reading this thinking, "well you have at least one reader..." I haven't forgotten about you reader/relative/friend/random stranger! It's just that you do not exist yet.

What to write about...
I'm not sure today.

I'm thinking about my grandma (because she's awesome), my girlfriend (I might drive to visit her tomorrow), my friend (he's making Iron Man 3), my game...

The end
For now.

Are blog post titles really necessary?

Finished shooting "Silence is Olden" last night! It is difficult to keep up with blogging daily. But that's kind of the point of the whole thing, is it not? I mean, whether I have 0 or 1,000,000 readers, I just need to write.
At least something. I mean, anything really does the job when it comes to writing.

I wonder how productive I will be this summer. Everyone is stressed out about paying college bills and car bills and all, so I need to find a job. Any job. It's really pretty depressing. Whenever I need money, I feel like there is a thought just beyond my reach, and if I could just think of it, I could solve the problem.

Oh well. There probably isn't any thought out there to solve my money problem, so I think the best solution is to forget about it and write.
So I think that's why I'm writing. There's lots of things that bug me and drive me crazy and scare me and so on. But at least if I write it's an outlet. And I can deal with stuff. This is probably one of those blog posts, where if I get famous people will read the first bit, get bored, and decide it doesn't really matter.
But I think it does. Because I think people are all pretty much the same.


Anyways, I should stick to what my blog's theme is supposed to be, otherwise I won't be able to say my blog has a  theme.
Resonance! Nobody thinks I can make a game, but I'm going to freaking do it! Even if it's absolutely terrible, I have to do it.
So anyways, I think I'll try to come up with an intro to the plot. Actually, I just decided to change the plot and start at a different place. So let's try...

Fade from black. 

You wake up, looking at a cracked ceiling. All you can hear is your heart beating, and you can almost see the world around you without needing to look. You get off the floor, on which you were laying, and examine your surroundings.

There is a desk with a little book on it, a bed, and a door. Everything is covered in dust in this bleak little room. A room so bland, most people would go insane after a few days. You might try the door, which is jammed, take a nap on the bed, or pick up the little book. You might even simply kick the door open after a few tries, only to find a hallway with a few very similar doors to your own.

There's a start, I suppose.

However hard I try, I feel I will not be able to write very well. Strangely, I am quite worn out from filming, but I'm really energized because my friends Ben and Will are here talking about games and videos and such. So at least I wrote something, right?

It's.. Bed time..

Everything

I have been so crazy these past few days. Why haven't I blogged, even a little bit?
I don't know, I am just lazy!
Diablo 3 came out on Monday, so I beat it on "Normal Mode" Wednesday morning and then started the next difficulty up. It's just fun to me, to be able to kill demons and use crazy strategies to overcome obstacles. Story was, well, just "eh".
Which reminds me of my favorite game of all time, Dark Souls. It was one of those games where you are thrown in with almost no story whatsoever, but you are enraptured by the world. It's probably one of the harder games I've played, but unlike most games, it actually relied fully on skill. Therefore, as the game got harder, you were forced to get better. THAT is an amazing game mechanic, if you ask me. Also, although they did the story poorly (according to some people), I feel as though there is something to be learned from having a story that is organic and comes from game-play.

My oldest younger sister (I have three siblings; all younger sisters, if you didn't know), Allie, is on a C.S. Lewis obsession. I think he was one of the top 3 minds of the 20th century, so it's a good thing.

I pitched Resonance to Abbey (my youngest sister) today, because I want her to do some concept art when she is done with school.
Oh, by the way, that's the name of my game. Resonance. Because, essentially, the idea is there is another version of our world, in which natural disasters and huge events are triggered. From there they affect our world.
Basically I made what I think is an interesting magic system, where people can essentially create their own spells, and I needed a way to use it. I will probably use a similar system in some future games, but this is kind of a trial for it.

I don't know how much I can really post about the game, because I guess people could steal it... But I suppose I'll at least be throwing pictures and snippets and stuff on here. I think I will name my game studio "99Life Studios". Ha, ha... Mario, anyone?

"Here we goooo...."

Whew.

Today, I was productive in an entirely different way than usual. I went with some friends on a 12-hour film shoot and did Grip work.
Tomorrow will be the same.
I am pretty much exhausted, so that is all I feel like writing. At least I actually wrote something today!
We will see about tomorrow. One never knows. Ha..

Games

I think the only way I might convince myself to blog continuously is to make my blog about an actual subject.

My mom and I were talking the other day while I drove her to tutor her students and run errands. She told me that when I write, I write interestingly and I should be a blogger. She then proceeded to talk about some blog she has been reading, where the writer is attempting to write a book, and as she goes, she blogs about it.
I love my mom. She has such great ideas. I was so inspired I tried to convince my youngest sister to make a blog about her cell phone (she breaks her phone every couple months due to over-use).

So, what could I write about? Videogames. Actually, one in particular, one I have been actively thinking on lately. But first, a little history;

Many years ago, I banded together a large group of talented kids (kids. Literally), in an effort to make an MMO (Massively Multiplayer Online) game. This was before World of Warcraft had reached its prime years, and the market was still pretty open.
However, none of us had any experience, but many of us were ambitious little teens and pre-teens. Unfortunately, the project fell apart due to the combo attack by division in the team and anger from the almighty parents.

So yeah, I should post again in this blog tomorrow. I don't know, I am not the most consistent blogger ever. At least I don't have any readers, ha ha. (If in the future I do... I'm sorry, I didn't know.)